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So it’s only been, oh, my gosh, one year, a whole year, since I last updated this blog. Betrayal, divorce, death, nearly losing my home … let’s see what else has happened? …. Oh, did I mention that life could never be better?
If you’ve ever been in a crisis mode—death of a loved one, death of a pet, victim of a crime, etc., etc., you know that in a flash life can become like living in a science fiction movie segment—that you can’t, no matter how you’d like to, escape from. That’s how the season was for me last fall. Yes, me, who for years presented PowerPoint presentations that encompassed feel good types of autumn day trip adventures to a variety of audiences in the region. What I once had preached –don’t miss the colors, smells, sounds of fall—I did not practice a year ago at this time.
Fortunately, years prior, I had learned to not allow situations to define me; to steal my true substance and being. I hoped that in the end, eventually, regardless of the outcome the “real me” (full of laughter, hope and faith) would prevail. But, meanwhile, I had to deal with a host of feelings that I could not flip a switch and shut off. Each catastrophe added, what seemed sometimes insurmountable, speed bumps into my life steps. One thing that helped me over these humps was that I kept telling myself that I would never have to go through this kind of turmoil again (hopefully) and next year (hopefully) would arrive, and I could enjoy the season.
Sure enough, this year I am out of the sci-fi mode and back into some semblance of reality. No, things aren’t “normal.” They never will be; only different. I am a newly divorced, single mom who may not be the same person she was a short year ago year, but I still wake up with the feeling of promise every morning – even more so …. My days are again full of laughter –the rip-roaring variety sometimes and faith. The nice thing about getting through the tough stuff is looking back, reflecting, and being reminded that today is a gift, a reprieve – for however long until the next calamity comes down the pike—and realizing that life, despite all its “luxury problems” is, oh, so worth the effort.
Last year, I threw myself a pity party by singing that old tune, “How can God do this TO ME?” This year, yes, what a difference a year makes, I can see God’s hand in it all. For instance, the family members and friends who have stuck by me, loved me unconditionally and completely.
It is as if I experience the glowing and fiery colors in the maples for the first time. In essence, at this segment of my newly defined life, this fall is a first for me; an adventure and I can’t wait to turn to the next colorful page.
In the cyclical fashion of life and death, summer’s promenade nears its final steps. I always contemplated why people spent so many hours planting flowers when summer seems to wink and flirt, and then without warning, scoot yonder before even an indulgence of a generous goodbye.
After having the opportunity to experience many summers in my life, I have finally figured out that the hours spent sowing, planting, preparing one’s garden….only to witness a spray of naked buds, yellowed leaves and empty soil patches, are an act of unconditional love. If you could put the concept into words, the statement would be like this, “I believe that there is never an end, only a new beginning; I believe in promise and hope and the goodness of all things. I believe.”
On that note, rejigger and smell every single flower that you can on your next day-tripping adventure before season’s end. Inhale, as if it is the last summer, the final hour, the final moment…breathe deeply the joy of now…and replace all of your mind’s chatter by repeating the following: “I believe.”
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
Speaking of blue skies in the previous post, Big Skies Play the Blues,
summer seems to bring out the truest, bluest landscape.
Have you taken the time to notice? (Or are you too busy complaining about…how hot…humid…whatever it is?)
On your next day trip, here’s your assignment (yes, that’s right, assignment; I am after all a teacher!): Observe the blues. Relish in them. Feel grateful to be alive. Feel grateful to see…wow, what a privilege. Feel grateful to be and, just be. Feel Grateful; live GREAT&ful.
♥♥♥♥
Who shouted with glee when the color blue was born?
~ “The book of Questions,” Pablo Neruda
You say there are no miracles? Look above, no I’m not just talking heaven here, I’m talking that there have been some unbelievable sky masterpieces around our neck of the woods. As I refresh, rejuvenate and rejigger* on my day-tripping experiences, I can’t get over the spectrum of blues ranging from robin egg to turquoise that have colored the sky.
The clouds, too, have been potent and interesting. You can spend an hour guessing what the puffy forms resemble. The other day, I found mermaids, puppy dogs and rabbit ears! Whether you live in Big Sky, Montana or Brisbane, Australia, as you take a day trip, remember to glance up at the summer’s sky. It will take you where you need to be, in the here and now.
Look up and feel the blood pressure go down.
* “Quietly but noticeably over the past year, Americans have rejiggered their lives to elevate experiences over things. Because of the Great Recession, a recent New York Times/CBS News poll has found, nearly half of Americans said they were spending less time buying nonessentials, and more than half are spending less money in stores and online,” In Recession, Americans Doing More, Buying Less; NYT, January 2, 2010.